How can I have a relationship with no sex

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Building a loving relationship takes time, caring, respect, and trust from both sides. Sex is not the only way of showing someone that you care. Having sex does not mean that you will fall in love.

You can spend personal time together without having sex. By talking and sharing experiences you can learn something more important about each other—how you view life, decisions you would make together, what kind of partner and parent you would each make, and how you feel about each other’s plans for life. Touching each other (without sexual intercourse) can be satisfying by itself, and is not dangerous as long as it does not lead you to lose control and to have sex when you are not ready.

Talk to your boyfriend. If you are sure he is right for you, but you are not sure you want to have sex, talk about ways to wait. You may find that he is not ready for sex, either. If you respect each other, you will be able to decide together.

Talk to your friends. You may find that some girl friends are facing the same difficult choices. You can help each other find ways to have good relationships without sex. But think twice about advice from a friend who is already having sex. A friend may try to convince you to do something she is doing to make herself feel better about doing it. This is called ‘peer pressure’.

  • Burns, A. A., Niemann, S., Lovich, R., Maxwell, J., & Shapiro, K. (2014). Where women have no doctor: A health guide for women. Hesperian Foundation.
  • Audiopedia ID: en020812